[1]
Probably I’m not being professional. Not in the true sense of the word.
Marah betul aku pagi tadi. Dlm satu meeting, tetiba someone remarked something inaccurate, and someone else jumped into conclusion based on that remakr. Judgement was passed and I became the victim. Aku tak sempat nak comprehend fully what was happening, aku tak melatah balik dan aku tak cakap apa-apa. Terkejut mmg terkejut, but I had to keep the meeting in order. Aku bukan jenis terus nak membentak, normally if some people would like to demonstrate their hastiness and incompetence I would let them be. Nasib baik kemudiannya jugak aku dpt recommend jln penyelesaian yg diterima semua org.
Cumanya lepas meeting aku rasa amatlah marah dan tak puas hati, probably mostly sbb aku haven’t had the chance to defend myself. It wasn’t anything physically serious anyway, just that at that moment they were questioning the ability of what I was there to represent.
After the meeting ada terfikir beberapa kali utk assert my position, utk betulkan balik tanggapan org. But then after some more thought, it’d probably seem trivial to some people, and what I’d do would seem childish. So probably it’d be better that I let it be.
Cumanya at times aku masih tak puas hati, dan masih marah. A true professional should be able to segregate his work and his emotion. Meaning, kalau aku profesional, lepas meeting, lepas decision dah dibuat, I should be able to forget that disagreement.
But at the moment I can’t.
Jadi aku ni tak profesional la kot ye?
[2]
Hj Hamzah mintak aku buatkan teks khutbah Raya, dua hari lepas dia bagitau. Nak by esok. Aiseh, sempat ke?
[3]
This recent few days, aku tidur amatlah lambatnya. Bukannya sengaja, tapi kekadang just tak boleh tidur. Mlm Isnin pkl 3 pagi lebih baru dpt tidur. Lepas dok lama terkebil-kebil atas katil tu, last-last aku pegi turun kejap ambik Qissas Al-Anbiya’ dan baca atas katil. Mlm Selasa dgn Rabu pun sama, tapi tak la teruk sgt. Dekat pkl 1 pagi tu dah dpt tidur. Aku switch between Al-Qissas dgn Sharh Al-Sunnah Imam Ahmad.
Menarik betul sebenarnya kisah Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal. Dia sebenarnya banyak menerima fitnah dan mihnah yg besar, especially dlm memurnikan `aqidah masyarakat di zamannya. Dan apparently Allah telah mengurniakan ilmu yg luas, hikmah yg tinggi dan pemahaman yg mendalam kpd Imam Ahmad. Sesuailah mungkin dgn ujian yg besar yg dihadapinya.
Kata Qutaibah ibn Sa`id: “Yang terbaik di antara kami adalah `Abdullah ibn Al-Mubarak, kemudiannya orang muda ini (yakni Imam Ahmad), dan sekiranya kamu melihat seseorang mencintai Ahmad, maka ketahuilah dia ada ahlu al-sunnah. Sekiranya dia hidup di zaman Al-Thauri, Al-Awza`i dan Al-Laith maka dia adalah lebih utama di antara mereka.”
Dan Imam Al-Shafi`i pernah diriwayatkan berkata: “Aku meninggalkan Baghdad dan tidak meninggalkan seorang yang lebih baik, lebih berilmu, lebih mengetahui Fiqh, atau lebih bertaqwa daripada Ahmad ibn Hanbal.”
[4]
Mlm ni jiran-jiran Cina aku ada some kind of celebration rasanya. Walaupun dah quite a few days abis Tahun Baru Cina. Diorg bakar mercun (harapnya sesiapa yg baca tak buat report ye..), dan bakar colok. Bebalik dr kerja je lepas Maghrib tu harum semerbak ruang porch aku. Hm, dulu masa kekecik aku cukup tak suka bau benda tu (ie joss-stick/incense). Tapi la ni rasanya not bad la, especially bila bau dia tak kuat sgt, hanya sipi-sipi dibawa angin yg sepoi-sepoi…
ukashah
